


Everything Falls Apart

by artsyspikedhair



Series: And Things Change For Better And For Worse [9]
Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Confrontations, Eating Disorders, Gen, Graphic Discussion of Eating Disorders, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Jewish Identity, Self-Denial, Self-Harm, Use of a Jewish Slur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-07
Updated: 2016-04-07
Packaged: 2018-05-31 16:29:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6477595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artsyspikedhair/pseuds/artsyspikedhair
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marius is spied on by his cousin, Cosette is not okay, the Friends of the Abased meeting is a disaster, and Combeferre and Grantaire have a talk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything Falls Apart

**Author's Note:**

> Studies Enjolras references:  
> the statistic for men, which is only U.S based: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/research-males-and-eating-disorders  
> the statistic on trans people: http://lgbtweekly.com/2015/08/02/eating-disorders-five-times-more-prevalent-in-transgender-college-students-study-finds/

"Marius has been acting rather odd, hasn't he?" said Luc-Esprit to his daughter, Marius' aunt. 

"Odd? I haven't noticed." Aunt Gillenormand spent most of her days housekeeping or praying at the church next to their house, and so did not notice much of her nephews whereabouts. 

"He has been leaving for school earlier than usual and coming home later, leaving the house all day on Saturdays, and spends almost all his free time holed up in his room, reading on that silly laptop of his. It's no way for a young man to be." 

Aunt Gillenormand thought for a moment. She avoided the internet herself, in fear that it might damage her relationship with God. But if Marius was leaving the house earlier... And kids these days often talk to each other through email... "Perhaps," she mused to her father, "he has a lover." 

"A lover? Why, that's preposterous! Marius could never attract someone, not with all his foolish social nonsense..." Luc-Esprit thought to himself for a moment. If Marius had a girlfriend, that would mean all the social difficulties the school system and psychologists had been claiming Marius had were wrong. "Perhaps Marius has a lover!" Luc-Esprit repeated, as though it were his own idea. "You should find out somehow. I've got to go to my bingo game." 

Aunt Gillenormand went about her day as usual, until an idea struck her when Marius' cousin, Theo, came to visit. The two were eating chocolate chip cookies when she brought up the idea. 

"Theo, you go to school with Marius." 

Theo nodded, unsure where this was headed. 

"Can you find out where he's going before and after school?" 

"Why?" Theo asked, but then Aunt Gillenormand handed him a hundred dollar bill. The boy was quieted after that. 

"Your grandfather is convinced Marius has a lover." 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Marius had discovered a secret. He had found his grandfather's emails open on his laptop when he went online one day in late November, and discovered a file marked "LETTERS FROM THE KIKE". Marius,who was learning about Jewish history on his own time, knew this was not an okay term, but since it was his grandfather's emails, this was to be expected. He opened the file and read the first letter. 

_Dear Marius, my beloved son, _ ____

Marius stayed up all night reading the hundreds of letters his father had sent throughout the years, the last one being his father begging Gillenormand to 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Marius walked to school in the morning. The first week in December, Theo, instead of driving to school, followed him. 

Marius was thinking about Friends of the Abased. There hadn't been a meeting for three weeks because of early release days, but today there was going to be one and he was excited to see his new friends. Courfeyrac was great, but Marius always wanted to have a group of friends. Marius also was excited to head to the library. He had begun reading a translation of the Torah before school, and finally made it almost to the end of Genesis.

Theo followed Marius to the school library, feeling like he was invading his cousin's privacy in the worst way, but also curious. He then saw his cousin not talking to a girl, but reading a book that looked like a Bible only less thick. Theo didn't know what to do, so he started studying until Marius left to go to class. Then Theo looked at the book. The Tanakh? He didn't know what that was, but there was Hebrew in it, which meant it was some sort of Jewish thing. Theo knew his grandfather hated all things Jewish, ever since Marius' mother went and dated a Jewish man before becoming pregnant at nineteen and dying of childbirth. Aunt Gillenormand had told him that. Theo thought long and hard as he walked to his next class.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Enjolras and Courfeyrac have been rather secretive for the past three weeks, and Combeferre had noticed. They hung out with him during two of the early release days, but also hung out afterwards at Courfeyrac's house, saying they were planning something for their science class. Combeferre knew this was a lie though, because Jehan was in Enjolras and Courfeyrac's science class and told Combeferre there wasn't any homework assigned on the early release days. 

But now there was a Friends of the Abased meeting, and Combeferre hasn't eaten in three days. He feels giddily lucky, because now his friends were talking to him like they always did before the meetings, sharing stories about their days. Enjolras had unfortunately had a run-in with a kid from his elementary school in Gym class, and the teacher had sent _Enjolras _ __outside because he was being, according to the misgendering asshole, "distracting".__

Soon Eponine and Grantaire came in and sat in their usual corner. Grantaire was loudly complaining about how he was being forced to change physics classes halfway through the year because "they hadn't realized what an idiot I was sooner!" Marius, Bahorel, and Jehan walked in together soon after. 

Enjolras, thinking this was the crowd for the day, pointed at Courfeyrac, who began speaking. "It appears we all know each other, so let's start with the topic of the day." 

Enjolras started talking. "Eating disorder awareness week is in about two months, but Courf and I wish to talk about it now, because awareness can save lives." 

Grantaire noticed Courfeyrac was staring pointedly at Combeferre, who didn't seem to care, but likely did. Grantaire decided to take the heat off the poor boy by shouting, "This is bullshit!" It worked. All eyes were on him, but Enjolras continued as if the interruption never occurred.

"Most people believe that eating disorders are a woman's problem, but that is not true. Although the media portrays eating disorders as caused by fashion magazines and diet culture, that is not completely true either. At least ten million men will have an eating disorder in their lifetime, according to various studies, and according to a study done by the University of Washington, 16% of trans people will suffer from an eating disorder in their life." 

Combeferre didn't really get why this was freaking him out a bit. He didn't have an eating disorder, he reassured himself. He just skipped meals sometimes, or most of the time, but that was because he wanted to look manlier. He knew he was skinny, and people with eating disorders think they're fat. Combeferre is just not skinny enough. He doesn't have a problem. 

Courfeyrac began a discussion. "So what are eating disorders you all have heard of? If we're going to spread awareness, we need to know what you're already aware of." 

Bahorel went first. "Bulimia is a thing where you eat a lot of food all at once and then puke it up to make yourself skinnier." 

Jehan was about to go, when a new girl appeared. "Hello, I'm Cosette. Is this the Friends of the Abased club? I saw the posters." Cosette hadn't noticed Eponine yet, nor Eponine Cosette. Eponine was busy giving homework answers to Grantaire. Cosette walked over to an empty seat in the courtyard, on the other side of Grantaire. 

"Hi. I'm Cosette." She said softly to Grantaire, who nudged Eponine. When Eponine looked up, she didn't register what was happening for a moment. Then she muttered "Oh shit." Cosette appeared to be panicking, and ran back inside. 

Jehan began speaking as if nothing had happened. He felt bad for Cosette, but the meeting must go on. They only had thirty minutes left. "I've heard of anorexia, which is when someone starves themself by intentionally skipping meals or eating too little to get proper nutrition, often either because they believe they aren't thin enough or as a way to control the only thing they think they have control over. Anorexics have a 20% chance of dying." 

Combeferre's anxious state of mind made him think people were looking at him, even though they weren't. He scratched his head, for it was itchy. He was filled with anger towards his friends for doing this, and he hated himself for being mad at them when they didn't know something was wrong with him, because he was _skipping meals _ __both because he wasn't thin enough and as form of control. Combeferre walked out of the room, lying through his teeth that he had to go to the bathroom.__

Grantaire saw Combeferre's shirtsleeve ride up when he itched himself, and closed his binder, stuffing it into his backpack. 

Enjolras asked Grantaire where he was going. Grantaire responded "You don't care anyway. I'm a cynic, I disrupt your precious club, I'm not needed,so let me leave." Grantaire looked threatening enough that Enjolras did what he asked. 

Grantaire found Combeferre in the hallway outside the library. "Hey," he said, trying to sound comforting. 

"Hey," Combeferre said back, internally still losing it over the fact that he might have a 20% chance of dying, because he might have an eating disorder. 

"I think your friends were pretty shitty to do that to you." Combeferre was surprised. How could this kid know he didn't eat properly? Was he that fucking obvious? Combeferre began tearing up. 

'It's obvious you were uncomfortable and they just kept on going on with the discussion anyway, like a bunch of suicidal warriors in battle or something. Like this _had _ __to be a discussion they had just then."__

Combeferre was shocked that this kid, who seemed to just show up to annoy the group, was so perceptive. "Why do you care what my friends do?" 

Grantaire decided to be honest, and blurt out what he was thinking, which was a habit for him. "Look, I can't pretend to know exactly what you're going through, but I saw you've got a healing cut on your wrist, and I do too, and I just wanted to make sure you weren't having a panic attack in the middle of the hallway, or self-destructing or something, because if the club had had a day focusing on the effects of abuse on high school kids, I would probably be self-destructing in the hallway, but that's only because I'm a weak loser anyway." 

Combeferre didn't know how to respond to Grantaire's confession, so he focused on his state of mind. "I'm not panicking, I'm just scared. I could die, and I don't know how to go back to eating like a regular person again. I don't know if I want to die. But, you're not weak. Coming out to comfort some asshole you don't even know is brave, and I can see your damned muscles. You're strong." 

"I'm emotionally fucked, though." 

"We all are. Hey, if you get help, I will." 

"No. No, no, no, I am not going to try trusting an adult just so I don't have your life on my hands. This is not why I came out here. I don't trust these asshole guidance counselors, and I'm guessing you don't either." 

"It was just a stupid idea. I should go catch the bus. Thanks, by the way." 

"You're welcome."


End file.
